The only way to love anyone is to love them selfishly.
To love for looks is shallow;
To love for personality-even more so.
When asked why they love their girlfriends/boyfriends/friends, most people start listing a number of 'attributes' which they see in that person which make them very love-able. Normal responses look like:
'They are so caring'.
'They make me laugh'.
'They are so interesting to talk to'.
But I feel that this is a delusion. I have yet to meet a person who is, without break, interesting or caring or who makes me laugh anytime they want. So, technically, you love them not for THEM, but what they ARE. There is a great difference; the same difference that exists between 'loving' someone and 'admiring' someone.
Furthermore, as soon as any changes in personality or circumstances chance to take away/overshadow any of the great personality gems of the person you 'love', it feels as if it's not the same person anymore. If a guy loves his girlfriend for her modesty, the normal reaction to any act of 'immodesty' on her part would be: 'You've changed'. And thus, the characteristics become THEM; define THEM; personify THEM. When you love a person for their characteristics, you fail to love the person themselves.
The only way to truly love someone is to love them for yourself; to love them because Love is a pleasure, a joy, a smile. Because Love is an ecstasy, and Love is a purpose. Because it is a conviction, and a duty. Because when you love them, you feel yourself giddy with happiness. Simply, this :).
