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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Engineered, but...


So, I am done with my engineering finally. I managed to get a distinction for my degree. But now, I ask myself this, was it all worth it? Have I achieved anything except may be graduating from not a bad university?

You know, now that I have graduated and am ready to make that transition into an office kind of an environment, I am kinda starting to understand the difference here. Why on earth do companies come and take fresh graduates like us? What is it that separates us from any other guy on the street? It’s the quality of education one would say! Naa… I think they expect something much more from us. And that "much more” thingy sadly is not taught inside universities. The Professor who teaches us inside the classroom just imparts his knowledge and goes away. But frankly is that of any use? Last 10 days of exams…Put in as much of stuff as you can in your squeaky little mouth and once you reach the exam hall and the bell sounds, just vomit or puke it out… This is the disappointing reality in our education system.


But sadly this reality doesn’t quite work in a private office environment. Here one has to have a know-how of various things. One has to practice what one has preached…But sadly no one has done that. All one has done so far is puked…puked out knowledge. The one’s responsible for this i.e. exams…they are gonna continue. I don’t think anybody will scrap that and may be it shouldn’t. But one could do with some kind of accountability. That yes I understand this. I don’t wanna puke if I know this! Eventually the onus is on us. How can we ourselves enhance our own skills and come out trumps! Perhaps the old man’s saying is applicable even today… Self Help is the best help one can do for himself. :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Emotions Are Not Friends

I get angry, I get sad, I get mad; but now I'm glad...
Am I lonely? Am I sad? Am I any word that can even exist?
I don't like this feeling, this roller coaster ride
This high for the day, low for a while.
This happy now, sad then!
These thoughts in my head about Where I am,
Where I want to be, Where I could be and Where I am going to be!

I think the deeper question to emotions is
Who are you?
Who am I you ask?
I would answer but I don't know
What defines my being in existence?
My looks? my talent? my gifts? my friends? my family?
What? Who?
You would like to know?
So would I....

I am looking deeper within searching for that truth!
That true me that lies within...Who? What? Where?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Reflections

My whole life, I've always wanted to achieve more. Not really achieve more, but just move and continue moving. I can never really say that I've been in a place, physically, mentally, or spiritually and been satisfied there. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad. It's not that I wasn't or haven't been content, its just that I've always known that there is something more than what I have or where I am or was and I've wanted it. I guess that saying that the grass is always greener applied to me. I say all that to say this: for the first time in my life, I'm stuck. I don't want to move forward because I really don't want to let go of my past, and I'm afraid that if I move I'll lose all that I've earned and worked so hard for. But, have I already lost it and am I now just holding on to a memory? If that's the case, I need desperately to move and leave that thing that is holding me back.

Have you ever been here before? What did you do to leave or did you ever leave?